The closest English word that I can use to describe the feeling of watching this trailer is bittersweet. I don’t know an English word that encapsulates the feeling of the quiet happiness and spark of hope that emerges from bitter suffering and sadness.
That is the word I am grasping for.
That is the feeling I want to look forward to.
For now, sadness and disappointment is something to be fought, like pushing away arms that are clawing in the darkness, to be waded through, upward through the inky deep, not knowing how long before the sun.
I don’t know why it is so easy for me to fall, and knowing probably wouldn’t help anyway.
Getting better is a journey that never ends.