Ode to a Good Friend

My friends and I wrote this poem in undergrad. It still makes me laugh, after all these years. Savor these golden words. Dear Friend; You're a fat, ugly, hated masochist. Unloved by your family, a stingy spendthrift. You're like a seacow with warts you're like damaged goods. Go collect Social Security. Also, PBS made this … Continue reading Ode to a Good Friend


A squirrel invaded my office. Incident 1: Squirrel ate a box of donuts (I knew I should have polished them off). No witnesses. Incident 2: Squirrel ate popcorn. Co-worker opened a screen and chased it out the window. A plastic square was installed in front of a hole in the wall. No, I don't mean … Continue reading Squirrelgate